Awestruck by Grace

“May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you will live deep in your heart.” – Author Unknown

On the eve of a brand new year I carve out sacred space to sit — quietly. To breath a bit deeper and exhale a bit longer. Retrospective. A place to embrace the journey — and acknowledge my complete dependency on a good God. A safe place.

With my heart wide open — I embrace and hold tight the gift of life. I thank God for His goodness that graced me for the last 365 days. I indulge my soul with sweet memories of beautiful faces and foreign places. I close my eyes, and can almost smell the aroma of Turkish coffee and sweet tea. I hear the sounds of a city that never sleeps. I recall the quiet of a small village. I feel the warmth of a place so far from home — yet so very close.

Awestruck by grace and extravagant love — I linger for awhile.

“Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future.” – Corrie Ten Boom

While gingerly turning the pages of 2020, I mustn’t ignore or slight, the chapters woven in uncertainty and fear. There were far too many. It’s vital for my soul, that I sit with hard realities, and accept what I can not change.

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” Brene Brown

The world came face to face with a deadly pandemic in 2020. A brutal virus, named Covid19, wracking havoc across the globe. Schools closed, air travel came to a near standstill, and states implemented “stay at home” orders. Entire countries barred their doors and closed their borders. The disease being no respecter of race, gender, nationality, status, color, — rich or poor. In a moment’s notice it leveled the playing field, — we were all faced with our own mortality. Life changed.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. – Psalm 23:4 NLT

“May God bless you with anger at oppression, injustice, and exploitation of people on the earth so that you will work for justice, equity, and peace.” Author Unknown from the book A Thousand and One Egyptian Nights by, Jennifer Drago

Brutality at the hands of others ushered in strong cries for justice. Lines were drawn and old wounds lay bear. Generations of indifference began to be unearthed. Genuine and just voices rose to their feet — and ushered in their battle cry. Justice for all!

A step back and a deep look inside — was taken by the wise. Hands reaching across the chasm of pain and suffering — sought change. Moments of silence and prayer vigils filled the air.

While other factions of a much darker nature highjacked the moment and poured into streets with rage and lawlessness. Unimaginable carnage ensued.

A world away, Beirut, Lebanon was rocked by the worlds third most powerful explosion. Third only to Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Hundreds of people lost their lives, thousands were injured, and it’s reported that 300,000 people were displaced.

Believers on the ground in Lebanon heeded the call to go — and be the hands and feet of Jesus to a hurting world. Together, they are bringing the love of God to suffering people.

Labor Day came into our area with force. Bringing with it historic winds, that combined with dry conditions — gave way to the perfect storm. Overnight forests were set aflame with wildfires. In our community four fires raged out of control, Riverside, Dowty, Unger, and Wilhoit fires.

Evacuation orders were issued and a community scrambled to find shelter for their livestock. Strangers opened their homes and barns and a community came together. Local people with heavy equipment and all those in-between — rose to the occasion. Some fought fires — valiantly. While others moved in to help re-locate families and livestock. Churches opened for those displaced and volunteers fed the masses. Neighbors checked on neighbors. Emergency relief centers were immediately staffed and it was all hands on deck.

Predictions were that Oregon’s two largest fires, Beachy Creek and Riverside, were headed towards a head on collision. The merger of two powerful fires would have been catastrophic. The fire moved closer and closer to Estacada. Forcing the evacuation of the entire town. We held our collective breath — and prayed. In an unprecedented event — the winds changed and the two fires never merged. Heroic efforts by so many saved homes and lives. Our small community was spared. God is good.

Sadly, many families were unable to save their homes from the ravages of the fires. It was reported that fifty homes were lost to the fires. That figure does not include the homes that were damaged or families displaced due to partial fire damage.

Crisis has a way of bringing out the best and the worst in people. I saw the best in a small community I call home.

“Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy, and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over life?” – Ann Voskamp

Sandwiched between the beginning and the end of 2020 lay amazing grace, extravagant love, painful goodbyes, sorrow and loss, — and a heart of great big gratitude.

While many curse the year 2020 — for a myriad of good reasons — I say thank you. You’ve taught me life is a precious gift. I’ve learned that loosing is having loved. You’ve helped to strengthen my resilience and resolve. I learned that I’m painstakingly flawed — and unashamed. I know how to lean into discomfort better and what staying longer looks like. You pushed me out of the nest of false security, and in doing so, taught me to soar.

I’ll take the lessons this past year has taught me into the future. I’ll laugh and love and indulge my soul in precious moments. I’ll love my people Big! I’ll make time for the important things in life.

I’ll live and love louder in 2021!

I’ll dream great big dreams and run hard after them — unhindered! I’ll not shy away or shrink back.

No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets. – William Borden

“The most beautiful people we have known, are those who have known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross