“I Have Been Shown In Darkness Light”

Kayla Mueller, An American hostage left behind.

“Kayla felt suffering in her heart, and it was, as if, it just seemed natural she was suppose to help”. Marsha Mueller, ABC News interview

The little girl Carl and Marsha Mueller were told they would never have, entered their world on August 14, 1988. She is described by her parents as brilliant and full of compassion. How could they know, that their baby girl was born with a heart — big enough to share with the world?

Kayla Mueller’s story was unfamiliar to me until news of her kidnapping made national headlines. While, I was never given the honor of knowing Kayla, on this side of eternity — I definitely, sense a kindred heart.

A heart that feels the suffering of others is a precious gift. Kayla’s compassionate heart and strength of soul, led her to humanitarian work. A space where grace allows for one to give their heart away. Her journey would take her to India, where she worked with Tibetan refugees. She volunteered among the Palestinians and served African refugee families of Israel.

In December of 2012 Kayla began to work with Syrian refugee families living inside Turkey. She made many friends in Turkey. One local woman describes how the women and children loved her. She said, “you only say Kayla’s name, and the people smile.”

Kayla was eventually taken captive by Isis in August of 2013 in Aleppo, Syria. She was tortured and brutalized while being held as an American hostage. Said to be the “personal” captive of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the caliph of Isis. Kayla remained in captivity as other hostages were ransomed and released. Then, in February of 2015, Kayla’s parents received the devastating news, Kayla’s death was confirmed. Isis claimed she was killed in Jordanian airstrikes. Later, Kayla’s parents were sent three pictures of Kayla, confirming her death.

After Kayla’s death, Carl and Marsha Mueller released excerpts from a hand written letter they received from Kayla during her captivity. Kayla’s cellmates managed to smuggle this letter out and deliver it to her family. In the letter Kayla describes her surrender to a God she trusted would break her fall.

“I have surrendered myself to our creator b/c literally there was no else.. + by God + by your prayers I have felt tenderly cradled in freefall. I have been shown in darkness, light + have learned that even in prison, one can be free.” – Kayla Mueller, letter from prison

Kayla’s story is one of courage and compassion and conviction. The ability to see light in a place of great darkness. A gift from God. Perhaps, surrender was something Kayla had practiced, long before she found herself captive to Isis? I believe she had rich experiential reservoirs to draw from while imprisoned.

Our world is steeped in suffering and it can sometimes seem hard pressed to find hope and peace. Then I remember Kayla’s words, “even in prison one can be free.” I’ll seek the hiding place Kayla found. A place of surrender and tender free fall.

I have told you these things so you may have peace in Me. In the world you will have much trouble. But take hope! I have power over the world!” John 16:33 NLV