I’ve found beauty in the stage of life termed, “midlife.” I don’t know how I arrived, and I haven’t always been aware that I’m here. Regardless, here I am.
Brene Brown describes this stage of life with vivid clarity in her blog titled The Midlife Unraveling.
“it seems as if we spend the first half of our lives shutting down feelings to stop the hurt, and the second half trying to open everything back up to heal the hurt.” Brene Brown
Unraveling….. yes, this is…..what midlife is really about. A sacred unraveling — a rite of passage.
It’s been in the unraveling of me, that I’ve found quiet places — hollowed out in time; awaiting my arrival. Grace for the day. Contrary to what I’ve been taught — it’s not a dreaded place — rather a new place.
One of solidarity bursting with new life. An intimate journey for each of us who wake to find ourselves beautifully unraveling.
It’s a place of extravagant paradox.
An embrace of rest, and breathing deeply, and exhaling slowly. Finding pleasure in watching papa and mama goose guarding their babies as they waddle through the field and into the creek.
A place where quietly sitting and listening to birds from my back deck gives me simple pleasure. Watching and listening to melodies that have always been — only now, I can hear them. Watching in amazement as hummingbirds feed from outside my kitchen window and delighting in their unique beauty.
A place where giving one’s self; permission — to be….. is acceptable and an act of great bravery.
A place where I shed the expectations I’ve piously worn for decades and meet courage face to face. An unearthing. A reckoning. An awaking.
An iron will to embrace who I am — without shame. Finding the fortitude to rise above the noise, and discover —who I’ve always been. An unearthing of dormant places — now bursting with life.
Breath……
A place of acknowledging yesterday, accepting today, and forging into tomorrow — with extravagant love and torrents of grace.
A place where the approval or disapproval of others means…. just a little less. A place to find belonging and stake my claim.
Daring to be
unafraid of what the “unraveling” will reveal. Having the tenacity to come face to face with toxicity and erroneous beliefs and setting sail into tomorrow on wings of renewed courage, hope, and love.
Exhale…….
A place to gingerly walk through rejected and wounded places in my heart and in spite of it all — learning to love deeply.
Why did we ever think we could love the world — while being steeped in self loathing, handed down to us for centuries. Why were the voices of unworthiness louder then the quiet One, — living inside of us all along?
“And now here’s what I’m going to do; I’m going to start all over again. I’m taking her back out int the wilderness where we had our first date, and I’ll court her. I’l give her bouquets of roses. I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Areas of Hope. She’ll respond like she did as a young girl, those days when she was fresh out of Egypt. Hosea 2:14-15.
Midlife Alive — is about renewed strength, vigor, excitement, and joy for the journey.
A time to come alive….. and run hard after dreams birthed and ready for their day of revealing. An abandon to follow one’s heart into the land of the living. A death to self -preservation. A permission granted to risk.
Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. —Dr. Howard Thurman (1899-1981), theologian and civil rights leader [1]
It’s a new lease on life a sacredground. A rite of passage.
It’s a place where you blink, and find your daughters have become your best friends. Where watching them find their wings and fly — it’s the best thing you’ve ever done. It’s a heart bursting with love for little people you fondly call your grandchildren.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25
Tami Yeager 
OK this touched something deep in me and brought tears. Now I will delve into it and discover what joy or pain you have unearthed in me through your writing. Thank you, Tami for doing the bold courageous work of transparency. Mary
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